Top 100 Best Dad Jokes Ever

So you are looking for the best dad jokes ever? Here we've got the top 100 dad jokes of all time. The list starts with some of the classic dad jokes that helped make dad jokes so popular. Topping off the list will be a mixture of some of the best classics as well as the most clever, and corniest dad jokes we could find. With a list you can use this list for awhile, take a joke or two with you at a time and cherish the moment of laughter you bring to the ones you care about the most. So let's get started.

100. Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have any guts.
99. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
98. Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
97. Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.
96. I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It's a little fishy.
95. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
94. What do you call a factory that makes good products? A satisfactory.
93. What did the janitor say when he scared his co-worker? Supplies!
92. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it.
91. What does a nosy pepper do? Get jalapeño business.
90. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
89. What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
88. I used to play piano by ear. Now I use my hands.
87. Why don't crabs donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
86. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? Incase he got a hole in one.
85. I am ready a book on anti-gravity. Its impossible to put down.
84. Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
83. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.
82. Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.
81. Why don't you ever hear jokes about pizza? Its too cheesy.
80. How do yo make a tissue dance? You put a little boogey in it.
79. Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent.
78. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know Y.
77. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels. 
76. Why was the math teacher good at dancing? Because she had algorithm.

Top 75 Dad Jokes

So far we've seen a lot of originals. Now we are gonna try and hit you with a few you've probably never heard before. Get Ready for more corniness that most cannot handle? Lets continue.

75. I asked my dog, What's 2 minus 2? He said nothing.

74. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.

73. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go.

72. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

71. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? ten-tickles.

70. What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

69. What comes after 69? Mouthwash. 

68. I told my wife she's been drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

67. Why don't vampires attack Taylor Swift? Because she got bad blood.

66. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know what comes first.

65. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To talk to the other side.

64. What's Forest Gump's password? 1Forest1

63. Why did the gym close down? It just didn't work out.

62. Can February March? No, But April May

61. Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind, it's tear-able 

60. What's brown and sticky? A stick.

59. What did one hat say to the other? Stay here, I'll go on ahead.

58. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.

57. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb up a tree and act like a nut. 

56. I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.

55. Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!

54. What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.

53. Why cant your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot.

52. Why don't skeletons go trick-or-treating? Because they have no body to go with.

51. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? There was nothing left but de-brie.

 Top 50 Dad Jokes Ever

Wow 50 dad jokes and we are only halfway there. Some of the best jokes are still to come. let's work our way into the top 25 dad jokes of all time.

50. I told my computer I needed a break. Now it wont stop sending me KitKats.

49. Why do fish always sing off-key? Because you can't tuna fish.

48. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.

47. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine he woke up.

46. I used to hate facial hair. But then it grew on me.

45. What happens when you boil a funny bone? You get a laughing stock.

44. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.

43. What's black, white, and red all over? A sun-burned penguin.

42. What's a skeletons least favorite room in the house? The living room. 

41. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers

40. What do you call a bee that cant make up its mind? A maybe

39. How does a taco say grace? Lettuce pray.

38. What is the best way to watch a fishing tournament? You live stream it.

37. Why did the invisible man turn down his job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

36. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.

35. What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.

34. Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

33. Why did the barber win the race? Because he took a short-cut.

32. What did the grape do when he got stepped on? Nothing, But he let out a little wine.

31. I used to be a baker. But I couldn't make enough dough.

30. What is the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle 

29. I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. So she gave me a hug.

28. What kind of music do mummies listen to? wrap music.

27. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrgh!

26. What did one wall say to the other? I'll meet you at the corner.

Top 25 Dad Jokes 

25 more jokes to go. man we've seen them all so far. Some corny, some clever, and some just down-right stupid. But they are always fun. Time to work our way into the top 10 Dad Jokes Of All time. 

25. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.

24. Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.

23. What's a vampires favorite fruit? A blood orange.

22. How does a moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.

21. How do cows count? With a cowculator.

20. What did one eye say to the other? Between you and me, something smells.

19. Do birds follow directions? No, they wing it.

18. What do you call a man with a shovel? Doug.

17. What do you call a man without a shovel? Douglas.

16. Why don't sharks like fast food? Because they cant catch it.

15. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.

14. What's E.T. short for? Because he's got little legs.

13. What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.

12. Why did the frog take the bus to work? Because his car got toad.

11. What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.

Top 10 Dad Jokes Ever

Here we are the absolute best dad jokes of all time. These ones are the corniest, most clever yet somehow stupid dad jokes ever, but hey that's part of their charm and its why we love them. The top 10 are all pretty inter-changeable within themselves so just enjoy, have a laugh and decide for yourself which is your favorite. 

10. How do cows stay up-to-date? They read the moos-paper.

9. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for fresh prints.

8. What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

7. What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.

6. How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

5. I used to be a soap addict. But I'm clean now.

4. I don't trust stairs, they're always up to something.

3. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.

2. Why don't you ever see elephants hiding in tree's? Because they are so good at it.